Rediat Abayneh

Men vs. Women: Differences Between Our Communication Skills This is the second in a series of essays that examines the inherent differences between men and women. Posted by Bruce Sallan

1. Women want their men to read their minds I know I said there was no order to this list, but I’d have to say this came to mind first because I find it so pervasive. I’ve never really understood why women think we men should be able to read their minds, but in my unscientific study–my life–it’s always been the case. My wife and I have attended marital therapy and our therapist has repeatedly suggested to her, when this issue came up, that it would be so much simpler and effective if she just expressed what was on her mind. My wife agreed and promptly forgot about it. A simple example is when it’s gift time. I would really prefer to give my wife something she wants, so I do the evidently incredibly unromantic thing of asking her what she’d like. You’d think I confessed I’d had an affair given the reaction that usually elicits. “Don’t you know?” is the exasperated response I often get. The upshot of this reality, at least in my life, is I actually do try to understand what my wife is thinking even, for the life of me, if it doesn’t make any sense (to me). 2. Men prefer short, terse answers to long-winded explanations and responses Now, I’m beginning to feel a bit like Professor Higgins in My Fair Lady, when he sings “Why Can’t a Woman be Like a Man.” It would be so much easier if women would communicate like we do: grunts, a 'yes' or a 'no', a nod, etc. It’s not complicated. Food? Yes. Sex? Yes. Spend money? No. Talk? Nah–would rather watch TV. I have one male friend who literally takes pride in his short email answers. I rarely receive more than a short sentence response to any email I send him. Frankly, I do communicate more like the average female and enjoy extended writing, discussions about emotional issues, family dynamics, and talking about relationships of every kind. Heck, I even prefer some chick flicks to violent action/horror movies. That said, I prefer a straightforward answer. I like to fix a problem rather than belabor it. 3. Women prefer to talk, to meet in person I think the only time a woman would prefer not to meet in person is to break up with a guy. Then, preferring to avoid conflict, she might take the chicken route and send an email or text. Of course, guys do the same so this is a gender-neutral example of relationship cowardice. But in most all other matters, women prefer to talk, to meet, to discuss and perhapsfrom a man’s viewpoint–beat the subject to death. Again, it comes down to a general stylistic difference in our communication preferences. I’m not expressing favoritism over one or the other. However, in most situations women will get together and hash it out whether it’s a personal problem, a family situation, business, etc. Men might get together, but they prefer to quickly finish whatever the issue is and then have a beer. 4. Men communicate about the Macro with their friends, while women lean towards the Micro In some ways, this is an elaboration of #2. Men generally avoid discussing intimate stuff with their male friends while women generally enjoy discussing personal issues with their female friends. Men would rather talk about the “Big” issues of the day whether it is serious like politics and world issues or really important ones, like sports. Women, on the other hand, while they certainly care about politics and the world, will choose to go into greater detail about personal issues regarding family, their health, diet, dress, marriage, etc. Men would prefer water boarding to having to discuss some of those topics.

http://agourahills.patch.com/groups/opinion/p/men-vs-women-differences-between-our-communication-skills